Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
