i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
