He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
