I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
