I wish I only lived at night.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize
