just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
