well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
