Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
