I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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