i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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