North Korea, Best Korea!
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Just high enough for therapy.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
