I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
