i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
