So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
