One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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