It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
