He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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