Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
