Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
