is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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