Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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