She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
