Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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