just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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