what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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