Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
