I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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