Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
