I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Don't make out with my wife yet
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
