the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Threesome in a minivan. New low
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
