If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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