kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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