Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
40s are totally the cure
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
