I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
