If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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