omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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