He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
