Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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