can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
