This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
