I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
