I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
