I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
