I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
