marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
