So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
