The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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