He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
