I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You're earring is so big in my mouth
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize
