I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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