youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
