I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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