I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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