did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
